Still Waiting...

Some progress made since I last wrote.  Now we have eliminated some possibilities for my physical problems and for that I’m grateful.  At this point we are waiting for the test results on the second test.  Had so hoped to get those results yesterday but didn’t.  So waiting is the plan now.... waiting for the test results to see if the Lord reveals the cause of all my pain through that test or if more tests are required.  God has perfect timing, but, as I’ve said before, I’m still learning the virtue of waiting on Him.  

Years ago I stopped praying for patience but instead now pray for the grace to wait on the Lord.  That “re-arranged” prayer has radically changed my ability to wait.  I now have HIS power and strength to wait for His perfect answers to my prayers and my cries for help.  It has made all the difference in my ability to wait for His answers and to be able to see His hand at work throughout the process of bringing about His perfect will in the situations I am praying about.  A HUGE difference!  I used to say that “wait” is a four-letter word.  Although wait still has only four letters in it, I’m learning to see that waiting is only tolerable through the power, strength, and grace of the Lord.  A powerful lesson to learn and one for which I am so truly grateful.  Thank You, Lord!  And yes, I keep learning that lesson over and over again...

When will the answers come?  I don’t know, but I do know they will come.  “... for I know Whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day” (2 Tim. 1:12b)  I know He is faithful and has answers for my health problems as well as the many other issues that face me and my family.  He may physically heal my body and bring His deliverance to the other things going on around us or He may graciously shed His mercy, grace, peace, and strength to continue to meet them head on, but He WILL take care of it all.  Of that I am absolutely certain.  In the meantime I sit in His lap and soak in His love, mercy, grace, peace, goodness and strength.  He is SO good to me.  Blessings and honor to His Name!  

I'm Reminded...

As I walk this journey of the unknown diagnosis, I find that the Lord keeps reminding of things.  He loves me with an everlasting love... He never leaves me nor forsakes me... He provides my every need according to His riches in glory in Christ... He is my Strength... He wounds and He heals... I am complete in Him... I am to submit to Him and seek His grace to be content in all circumstances... I can trust Him... and so much more. This journey is hard and seems to be getting harder as I continue to get worse.  However, I know He has a good and perfect plan in the midst of it all.  He has not taken Jeremiah 29:11 out of the Bible, so I believe He has greater plans for my “light and momentary afflictions” in His eternal plan... one that I cannot imagine.  I pray for His grace to wait upon Him for His revelation of what this stuff is that is going on in my body.  He has promised me in His Word that He will show us what’s happening.  Whether it is big or small, I pray that I may receive His grace to receive this gift with praise and thanksgiving and that He will be most highly glorified in it all.  That truly is the cry of my heart to Him.  But this is hard and I am eager for His answers.   All will come in his infinitely perfect way and timing.  Forgive me, Lord, for being so impatient.  I know Your ways and thoughts are so much higher than mine.  For now may I rest in Your arms of mercy, grace, and love and receive Your peace in the midst of the storm.  All praise, honor, and glory be unto You. 

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.  The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights.”  (Habakkuk 3:17-19)

Wow....

Despite my feeling absolutely horrible, my sweet husband and I drove to Arkansas to spend some time with my 95 year old Daddy this week.  While on this trip, I saw God work in the most amazing ways.  By His grace I was enabled to do the things that I had to do, however at the other times I was so very sick and unable to function.  I was able to help my Daddy when needed and we ended up having a good visit with him.  I was greatly humbled and awed by His power, mercy, grace, and peace during the entire time, even during the two day trip there and the two day trip back home.  It felt as though He was actually lifting me about my horrible health.  “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)  This is exactly what the Lord did for me on this trip.  Now that I’m home again, it’s back to my doctor here to schedule more tests to see what’s going on with my health.  He will be faithful through all of that too.  He is so good to me. 

One of the most amazing things that struck me while in Arkansas was the Lord’s provision of a primary care doctor for me to see because my health worsened while we were there.  As we plan our move back to Arkansas, one of my greatest concerns was finding new doctors, especially a primary care doctor, there.  As we arrived at the doctor’s office around 8:40am, the Lord opened up at 9:30am appt. JUST FOR ME!!!  Now I (and my husband likes this doctor as well) have a primary care doctor in Arkansas.

Something only God could have done for me (us).  

Daddy’s cataract surgery went smoothly and he is doing well now.  Another blessing from the Lord!  

During the entire trip, the Lord’s hand was all but visible in every aspect of it.  His mercy, grace, faithfulness, and goodness shone through it all.  Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!  

The Lord Is Good, But I Am Still Sick

Note to self:  When you ask the Lord to deepen your understanding of His goodness, it can involve affliction.  At least it does in my case right now.  Having been sick for over 10 days now, I have had the opportunity to witness the goodness of the Lord in so many ways.  He has truly been showering His grace, mercy, and goodness on me as I have been in such pain.  Slowly but surely, the Lord is healing me, but He is certainly taking the “scenic” route to do it.  He is making me more like Him on the trip.  As hard as this is to go through, I am so glad to be sitting at His feet learning more and more about His mercy, grace, and goodness.  

Although I feel like Job, chapter 2, right now, I know that the Lord is working in my life and changing me more into the image of Himself.  I know this... “But He knows the way I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold” (Job 23:10) as I trust Him to carry me through this journey of affliction.  He is faithful.  So I say with Him...

“I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand upon the earth.  And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God.” (Job 19:25-26)

Your continued prayers are much appreciated.  I am better but definitely not over this “stuff”.  Showers of His greatest blessings upon each of you.  

Please Pray

So sick... Will get back to working on the post I have in process.  Till then, please pray.  This is not much fun.  Thanks.  God bless you!