A New "Normal"

Lord, I used to know what to expect.  I used to know how much I could do.  I used to function at a much higher level.  But things have changed... changed dramatically.  My health has “gone south”.  I now live in a new “normal” and I’m not sure how to do that.  Time again, Lord, for more of Your all-sufficient grace for Your child so that others can see You in the midst of it all, not me.  I certainly can’t do this on my own... and don’t want to.  Help.......

You knew this was coming.  It did not surprise you.  “Have you not heard?  Long ago I ordained it.  In days of old I planned it; now I have brought it to pass, that you have turned fortified cities into piles of stone.” (1 Kings 19:25)  

You are doing great and mighty things through it all.  I don’t need to be frightened about this change.  “Be not afraid, O land; be glad and rejoice.  Surely the Lord has done great things.” (Joel 2:21)

You will take care of me in my new “normal”.  You always do.  “For I am the Lord, your God, Who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13)

You will make this possible, Lord.  Nothing is impossible with You.  “I can do everything through Him Who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Moment by moment, day by day keep my eyes on You, Lord.  You are the only way I can do this and You are enough.  All by Your grace....

Kairos Timing

“My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you.”  Job 42:5

I know this, Lord.  I’ve talked about it for years.  Your perfect timing for all things.  But today, just like Job, I’ve “seen” it... I’ve seen You.  It has become crystal clear to me that things happen in Your designated time and for Your eternal reasons.  Not before, not after, but in Your perfect time.  I seldom understand why You delay things, yet I know that You do for Your greatest glory.  I don’t understand the “whys”, but I know that I know that I know that You are never early, never late... always at the right time.  It is just hard to wait and impossible to wait apart from You and Your all-sufficient grace.  Lord, grant me a heart to be content in the waiting.  Draw me ever closer to You as I wait.  It’s so hard to wait.  I am broken before You as I wait upon You for my LONG list of things that have not yet come to be but that I know are coming.  Thank You for the promises in Your Word that keep me holding on to You and Your hope while I wait.  I couldn’t go on without them.  I couldn’t go on without You.  I wouldn’t want to.  Forgive my impatience.  May Your will be done in Your kairos time.  

“There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven: 

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot, 

  a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build, 

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance, 

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain, 

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away, 

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak, 

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

One Down, At Least One More To Go

 Giving it all to the Lord...

Lord, You are a God Who surprises Your children.  I found that out in a deeper way yesterday.  A true diagnosis of fibromyalgia for me.  Surprise!!!Thank You, Lord, for showing us what is going on in my body.  Unfortunately that diagnosis doesn’t include the constant headache I’ve had since July 2009.  Surprise!!!  Wow, Lord, I never ever thought there would be more than one gift for me in my health.  I’m a little stunned by that revelation.  No wonder I need that appointment in Birmingham with the neurologist.  You always meet my needs according to Your riches in glory in Christ Jesus.  That includes the grace to receive all of this and deal with it.  Like I said, I’m a little stunned at the moment.  Surrendering it all to You, Lord, but still trying to process it.  You’ll provide the grace for all of that too.  You always do.  

I know, Lord, that this diagnosis is not life-threatening and that my joints will not be damaged because of it.  Again I wonder “why not?”.  Once again it is clear that this just isn’t Your plan for me... yet.  Again You will be more mightily glorified as You uphold me in the midst of this, however, I am always humbled when You do.  

So now, Lord, we continue to wait for the second true diagnosis from You.  I wonder what that will be and if there are more than two true diagnoses coming.  Only by Your grace I will wait until You reveal all that we need to know about it all.  Wherever You take me, I’m going... ALL by Your grace.

“Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

Wherever He Leads I'll Go

Last night I was reading a devotional book that highlights a different hymn each day.  So far this year I’ve read about some songs that I’m familiar with  and some that are new to me.  This song, written by B. B. McKinney in 1936, captured my heart as I realized that this is my heart, especially right now as I face my rheumatologist’s appointment tomorrow morning (at 7:30am... ugh!).  Whatever comes tomorrow... a true diagnosis or further testing... I will follow the Lord.  Once again it is all I know to do... to surrender it all to Him and go wherever He leads me.  This hymn seems to say it all to me these days.  

Take up thy cross and follow Me, I heard my Master say; 

I gave My life to ransom thee, Surrender your all today.

Wherever He leads I’ll go, Wherever He leads I’ll go,

I’ll follow my Christ Who loves me so, Wherever He leads I’ll go. 

He drew me closer to His side, I sought His will to know,

And in that will I now abide, Wherever He leads I’ll go.

Wherever He leads I’ll go, Wherever He leads I’ll go, 

I’ll follow my Christ Who loves me so, Wherever He leads I’ll go. 

It may be thro’ the shadows dim, Or o’er the stormy sea,

I take my cross and follow Him, Wherever He leads I’ll go

Wherever He leads I’ll go, Wherever He leads I’ll go,

I’ll follow my Christ Who loves me so, Wherever He leads I’ll go. 

My heart, my life, my all I bring to Christ Who loves me so; 

He is my Master, Lord and King, Wherever He leads I’ll go. 

Wherever He leads I’ll go, Wherever He leads I’ll go,

I’ll follow my Christ Who loves me so, Wherever He leads I’ll go. 

“Then He said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.”  Luke 9:23

Oh...

I forgot to tell you whose in the picture...  my family had a photo shoot on Christmas Day.  What a delight! This is one of the whole family pictures.  Sure loved being all together.  Will cherish all the pictures but especially the ones with our 96 year old Daddy.  He is a great Daddy and wonderful man.  It is such a privilege to be in this family.  I love you all very much!!!

Thanks, Dotsy!

This is a first for me.  Adding my pictures to this blog.  After struggling with doing this, I finally wrote my friend Dotsy to find out how to do it.  SO thankful that she pointed me in the right direction.  I think I’ve “got it” now.  Aren’t friends wonderful?  Thanks again, Dotsy!  I’m so excited!  Yes, I realize that it doesn’t take much to make me excited.  God is so good to me.  Use it all for Your greatest glory, Lord.

“You are good, and what You do is good; teach me Your decrees.”  Psalm 119:68

W.A.I.T.I.N.G- Not My First Choice

“Moses answered them, ‘Wait until I find out what the Lord commands concerning you.’”  Numbers 9:8

“The One Who calls you is faithful and He will do it.”  I Thessalonians 5:24

Lord, I know that it is always Your grace that makes things possible.  In this waiting though I need Your “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us” grace.  I’m having such a hard time waiting for my rheumatologist appointment.  I am so hoping that You have answers to this seeming chaos in my health at this appointment next week.  Forgive me for being so impatient.  Grant me the peace and grace that only You can give.  I choose to trust You in this and know that You will show the truth of my health problems in Your perfect timing.  Surely it is time to declare what’s going on in my health, Lord.  Years and years of this “chaos” is wearing me out.  Hide me under the shadow of Your wing and grant me Your rest.  I can’t do this alone.  I don’t want to try.  May Your will be done.  

His Strength

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

I always know that the Lord is going to have me do things way beyond my ability when I receive this Word from Him.  These days that includes my doing anything at all.  That’s just where I am all the time in this journey called “affliction”.  Yet He is mightily glorified as He strengthens me to do those things He has for me to do that day.  It truly is a miracle each day as He enables me to be and do all He has for me.  I’m amazed at how He boosts my energy level while I am doing things.  Once I am finished with what He has me doing, I amazed again as He allows me to feel how I really feel that day.  Such a contrast, trust me!!!  He makes my life a miracle day by day.  So humbling, to say the least.  Wow...  I wonder what task He has in mind for me next that will give Him all the glory as I do it.  Whatever it is, let the “games” begin!  He is faithful!

On a side note.... the last of the Christmas cookies and candies are gone.  Time to eat a healthy diet once again!  Not near as much fun as the Christmas cookies and candies, but necessary.  I really do want to take care of His temple.  Honest.... I do. 

Pedal

At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there, sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn't know Him.

But later on when I met Christ, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal.

I don't know when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since. When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable...It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on!  Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal!"

I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are You taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey, my Lord's and mine. And we were off again.

He said "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did... to the people we met. And I found that in giving I received and still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high rocks, fly to shorten scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places.  I'm beginning to enjoy the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Christ.

And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore, He smiles and says... “Pedal."

I have no idea who wrote this, but I so enjoy reading it.  As I read, I see myself on that tandem bike with the Lord and understand the author’s thoughts and emotions as He travels with the Lord.  Been there... done that.  I sense the Lord’s great delight when they traverse the ups and downs, ins and outs of their journey together.  Like I said... been there... done that!  This writing speaks so deeply to my “walk” with the Lord.  I too am learning to trust that, wherever He takes me, He will be there to supply my every need and to teach me more about Him.  I am so thankful to be traveling with the Lord on this journey called life.  I think it’s about to get a lot more intriguing.  I keep hearing Him say “Pedal...”.  

“My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me.”  John 10:27

“May the God Who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  Romans 15:5-6