All About You

“Then He called the crowd to Him along with His disciples and said: ‘If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me and for the gospel will save it.’”  Mark 8:34-35

Once again, Lord, You have deepened my understanding of Your Truth.  As I’ve struggled through these times of physical problems, without meaning to, I have concentrated on myself, my healing, and my need for You.  I’ve focused on what You can do for me instead of the glory that You will receive in and through my challenging gifts from You.  Please forgive me.  

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  2 Corinthians 4:17-18

No matter what happens in my health, Lord, I really do desire that You receive the greatest glory in it all.  Use it to draw all involved to You.  Use it to shine through every moment of every situation.  Use it so that others will know that You are God and there is no other.  Use it, Lord, use it all... and, by Your grace, Lord, use me as Your instrument amidst it all. 

Dotsy and Me

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”  2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Such a blessing, Lord.  You knew just what I needed.  Who but You could bring Dotsy to Montgomery for “such a time as this”.  Although she and I are “new” friends, You used her to bring me great encouragement.  

She and I only had a short time together, but we could have enjoyed much longer together.  Another time.....  In that short time, though, she, through the comfort she received from the Lord while battling a rare cancer, encouraged me by reminding me that there is a time coming when I will be on the other side of my current health problems.  I guess I had lost sight of that, Lord.  Forgive me.  You brought Dotsy all the way to Montgomery just to tell me that.  I am forever grateful.  

Sisters in Christ.... bound together by our love for You. Thank You, Lord, and thank you, Dotsy.  

W.A.L.K.

For some time, Lord, You have been using the word “walk” to describe my journey with You.  While in the hospital recently, You “fleshed” that out for me.  As only You could do, it “fit me to a T”.  Of course it did, Lord.  

So here we go, Lord... the expanded version of “walk”.

Wait and Watch

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.  Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret- it leads only to evil.”  Psalm 37:7-8

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”  Psalm 27:14

“The angel said to the women, ‘Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, Who was crucified.  He is not here; He has risen, just as He said.  Come and see the place where He lay.  Then go quickly and tell His disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you in Galilee.  There you will see Him.’ Now I have told you.’”  Matthew 28:5-7

“Suddenly, when they looked around, they no longer saw anyone with them except Jesus.”  Mark 9:8

Adore

“Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy Name.” Psalm 103:1

“Praise the Lord.  Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.” Psalm 106:1

“Every day I will praise You and extol Your Name for ever and ever.  Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom.”  Psalm 145:2-3

“Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.  Praise the Lord.”  Psalm 150:6

Let Go

“Father, if You are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done.”  Luke 22:42

“For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of Him Who sent Me.”  John 6:38

Know

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”  Exodus 14:14

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  Psalm 46:10

“He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.”  Mark 4:39

As I walk with you, Lord, may I wait and watch for You.  May I adore and worship You at all times.  May I let go and surrender all to You alone.  May I know that You are God and there is no other.  

Where will we walk today, Lord?  By Your grace I’ll follow.  

An Unexpected Next Step

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  Psalm 73:26

Lord, You constantly surprise me.  You turned a “simple” neurologist’s appointment into something I never dreamed would happen.  First you sent me to two neurologists in Montgomery, then to two neurologists in Birmingham and NOW to the Michigan Headache & Neurological Institute in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  To say that this revelation stunned me is a huge understatement.  Are Your answers to be found in Michigan?  Never in my wildest imagination, Lord, could I have ever thought that this would be my next step in this 3 year headache saga.

Since You first showed me this next step, I have gone from “oh, no, how can I do this?” to “Your will be done, Lord”.  I feel like You are still preparing me for this next part of this journey, though.  By the time we get there, by Your grace and securely held in Your loving arms, I will be ready for Your next gift.  

 According to my neurologist, Lord, there are at least TWO health issues in my head.... the hydrocephalus  and also the headache. I can’t wait until You show the Truth of all of this that goes on in my head.  You are narrowing in on the true diagnoses and You will victoriously show us what they are and how to deal with them.  Keep my eyes on You, dear Lord, and show us the way to Your Truth. 

Your Word comforts me...

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”  Jeremiah 29:11

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23

“... God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’”  Hebrews 13:5b

I Thought.....

“‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord.  ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.’” Isaiah 55:8-9

Indeed, Lord, Your thoughts and ways are infinitely higher than mine.  I’m always amazed at how You work in the midst of earthly circumstances.  Throughout the last eight years (approximately) I have seen You order and regulate my many medications.  The ones You wanted me to take, You made them possible for me to tolerate.  The ones You did not want me to take, You overwhelmingly made it impossible for me to take.  While depending on You to show me through the maze of the various gifts of poor health You have given me, I have seen You do mighty miracles of physical healing as well as mental and emotional healings.  I have seen Your hand through it all and I praise You for Your great mercy and compassion in it all. 

This time, Lord, is no exception.  This new medication appears to be one that You are not going to make possible for me to take.  I truly believe You are going to take me on to surgery to have a shunt put in my brain to relieve the pressure.  Could I be wrong?  Of course I could, but this is what seems to be Your plan.  Your timing for the shunt is the only question that I have.  It is a certainty that I will be having one put in, Lord.  You have already made that clear to me.  Thank You for Your peace and grace to have that done.  May it be done in Your perfect timing, in Your perfect way and in Your perfect place with Your perfect neurosurgeon.  I trust You, Lord, to walk with me through it all.  One step at a time, sweet Jesus.  Trust and obey...