ARGH!!!!!

Lord, teach me.  Teach me how to live/cope with fibromyalgia every day.  I keep doing too much before I even realize it.  That leads to extreme fatigue, my headache starting up again and sometimes to vomiting.  I don’t mean to do too much, but I’m having a hard time limiting my activities and discerning what my limits are.  You are the only One that I know who can tell me what to do and when to quit.  

The other day I read an online discussion panel, Lord.  One woman wrote that she felt like a sloth because she has fibromyalgia and has severe limits to her activities.  She was upset that others, especially her spouse, did not understand that she was sick.  I’ve heard others say that fibromyalgia is an invisible syndrome and poorly understood.  Lord, how do I help others understand that I have huge limits in what I can do without getting sicker now?  How, Lord, do I make the move to Arkansas and, especially, how do I help take care of my Daddy after I get there while dealing with fibromyalgia and new daily persistent headache?  

ARGH!!!!!!!

Now, having said all of that, Lord, I realize and know that You will make all these things possible.  My fibromyalgia and new daily persistent headache did not surprise you.  You know exactly how You will work out all of this.  I just need You to show me how.... moment by moment.  I just don’t know how You will do this.  Thank You for making all of this possible.  I certainly know that I can’t. 

“guide me in Your Truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”  Psalm 25:5

“I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.”  Proverbs 4:11

Trusting

It has been so long, Lord.  SO long.  I’ve prayed for years and years and years and years and years.  It seems like an eternity that I’ve been praying for this.  In my mind I know that You will answer these prayers because they are in accordance with Your will.  In my heart, though, I am discouraged.  Today it seems to have come to the forefront in my heart and I need a double portion of Your grace to get past my discouragement.  I don’t want to give up for nothing is impossible with You. (Luke 1:37)  I’m just struggling with the waiting and the lack of visible signs that Your work is being done.  

As only You can do, Lord, You have given me Your Word to comfort and encourage me.  How like You.  Place Your Word in the depths of my heart and keep my eyes on You.  You will do Your work, answer my prayers and be mightily glorified in it all.  

“The Lord Himself goes before You and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged”  Deuteronomy 31:8

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your prayer requests be made known to God.”  Philippians 4:6

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”  Proverbs 3:5

By Your grace I will trust You and will wait for the answers to my prayers.  It’s the only way to be victorious in all of this.  Praise You from Whom all blessings flow!!! 

Valentines

Lord, You prompted me to pick up valentine cards for my family the other day before my driving ban was in place.  How awesome!  But today was a time for Your perfect provision... just to show me that You are here and are meeting my needs.  I love to send valentines to some children that are so special to me, but I had not picked them up earlier.  I was upset about not being able to send valentines to them.  Today, though, I found some valentine cards that I already have!!!  Of course You knew they were there.  I had completely forgotten about them.  Now I can send those valentines.  I’m so excited about still being able to do that!!!  You show Your love for me in such sweet ways, Lord.  You just blow me away as You provide all I need... and things that I didn’t even know that I needed.  Lord, You are so compassionate toward Your children.  Saying thank You isn’t remotely enough to tell You how much I am humbled by Your kindness to me, but “Thank You”...

“So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide.  And to this day it is said, ‘On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.”  Genesis 22:14

“And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:19

Diagnosis #2

Well, Lord, I thought that door had been closed.  I thought that diagnosis had been eliminated.  Obviously I was wrong.  New Daily Persistent Headache... that’s the second gift You have given me lately.  First fibromyalgia and now NDPH.  The diagnoses just keep coming.  It is only because of Your grace that I am able to bear them, their symptoms and the knowledge that, apart from Your supernatural healing, I will live with these two conditions for the rest of my life.  They’re not life threatening and I am humbled about that, however I need Your grace to live with them throughout my life.  You can and will do that for this child of Yours.  Thank You for being You and showering Your gifts and grace upon me.  

One hitch, Lord, that will require an even greater measure of Your grace for me.  Who would have thought that I’d be “banned” from driving at the tender (yeah, right) age of 63?  Others have done it before me and I will be able to do it as well.  It’s just that this adjustment “clips my wings” and retards my independence.  That’s hard, Lord.  Of course You may remove that restriction for me at some time in the future, but, for now, I’m homebound unless someone takes me.  A new bend in the path You have planned for me... at least for now.  I don’t mean to complain, Lord, and I know You will use all of this for Your greatest glory, but, if I can’t tell You my heart, then I can’t tell anyone.  Just talking all of this out with You clears my perspective.  You’ll always provide my every need according to Your riches in glory in Christ Jesus, so I know that I don’t have to worry (that’s another thing that I don’t want to do).  Thank You for taking care of me always.  

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in  God my Savior.”  Habakkuk 3:17-18

“God is our Refuge and Strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.... Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  Psalm 46:1-3, 10

Almost Time...

It’s almost time, Lord... almost time.  After four months of waiting to see the neurologist in Birmingham, the appointment is now just around the corner.  It’s almost time.  Two days away.  I’m excited and I’m nervous.  I can hardly wait to see what You show us, yet I know there are lots of diagnosis possibilities.  I just want the true diagnosis (or more than one if that is what You want) that You have for me.  Yes, I’m nervous, but humbled to follow wherever You lead me.  Whatever Your gift(s) to me is, I want it(them).  By Your grace I will receive it all and carry it all with me for as long as You desire.  Thank You, Lord, for Your gifts are always good and perfect.  

Thank You, Lord, for these scriptures about my coming appointment on Tuesday...

“Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure.”  Psalm 16:5

“And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:19

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

Only by Your grace, Lord... ONLY by Your grace.