Next...

Well, here we go again... the next part of the journey with the Lord about my headache.  I had so hoped that the Lord would reveal the source (or tell my neurologist what test to run now) of my headache, but He did not.  Just another attempt to simply get rid of the pain with medication without any understanding of what is causing it.  I assume it is not time for Him to reveal the cause of my headache.  Unless I have misunderstood the Lord’s Word to me about my headache, He has told me that He will “declare what it is and present it”.  So again I wait on Him as He goes forth with the discovery process for the cause of my headache.  Lord, I need more of Your peace and grace to walk with You further on this journey.  The saga goes on.  

Today the Lord took me to eat lunch at the deli in the nearby hospital before my neurologist’s appointment.  Good food and a great time at their Book Fair.  After the Book Fair I went to the gift shop where the Lord showed me a man with a walking stick to help him keep balanced following a stroke.  It was so obvious to me that the Lord was again showing me that He and I are on this journey walking together.  Then He took me to the chapel in the hospital where I sat on the pew and drank in the stained glass window of Christ holding a lamb in his arms.  Such a loving picture of the Lord’s care for me as He is holding me in His arms throughout my lifetime journey with Him. I prayed and once again surrendered my headache and health to Him.  I surely do not want anything but His will, despite the fact that times are hard and I’m still hurting all the time.  Just as He has taken care of me these many years, He will continue to hold me in His arms as we walk through this part of our journey.  He will never leave me nor forsake me and will work all of this together for good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose.  How can I not follow Him wherever He leads me?  I am His forever and there is no other that I need to or want to go to in my life.  He is my Lord and King and I will follow wherever He leads me.  It’s as simple as that.  By His grace I will go forth with Him... wherever He takes me.  

“I will praise You, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of You among the nations; I will sing of You among the peoples.  For great is Your love, higher than the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.  Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let Your glory be over all the earth.”  Psalm 108:3-5

  

When I Misunderstand...

I hate it when I misunderstand what the Lord has told me, but that is exactly what has happened with the cause of my headache.  As I’ve spent time with the Lord today, I have realized that, although the arthritis in my neck is part of the problem with my headache, it alone is not the only reason for it.  Thankfully the Lord has revealed the arthritis in my neck and has provided the physical therapy to address it, to tone it down and give me the tools to keep it more or less “in check”.  Now I understand that there is still at least one other problem that is causing my headache.  Now I understand that the Lord will lead, guide and direct my neurologist to at least one other cause of my headache.  I have no idea what else the cause could be, so again it is a time for me to trust the Lord and wait on His revelation(s).  At this point in time my headache is as bad as it has always been.  Hmmm... help, Lord!  Have I mentioned how much I hate it when I misunderstand the Lord??? 

Once again I am in the place of waiting on and trusting the faithfulness of the Lord in regards to my health.  I’ve been here a lot, but I know that the rest of the world can say the same thing.  I know that He will show us what’s going on in my head.  It’s just hard to wait on a full true diagnosis.  One day in His perfect timing and way He will make it clear.  How I long for that day as I continue having headaches and praying for my health.  Thank You, Lord, for carrying me with Your strong, loving arms while I wait.  How like You.  

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23

“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”  Psalm 27:13-14

Sleep... Or The Lack Thereof

It’s 2:46am and I have yet to have gone to sleep.  Not only tonight but pretty much every night since I can’t remember when.  It seems that at least one of my medications is the cause of my current insomnia.  Hmmm... if I did not absolutely have to take these medications, I might get some sleep.  And yet... the Lord has used these sleepless nights to draw me closer to Himself.  How like Him!

Most nights I read and/or play games on my phone.  However, my favorite way to spend my nightly hours is to listen to my Christian music on my phone.  It brings me to my Savior’s feet and brings His Presence ever closer.  Yes, I’d love to get some sleep, but the Lord obviously gets the greatest glory in strengthening, helping and upholding me by His righteous right hand each day as I do those things that He puts before me to do.  It’s so easy to see Him doing that in my life as I accomplish His tasks for each day.  Although I am exhausted, He alone makes my days possible.  It’s a very humbling place to be and a very amazing place to be at the same time.  I certainly only want to be where He has me and know that He will take loving care of me in the midst of it all.  Once again all I can do is curl up in His arms and watch how He carries me through it all.  Amazing... simply amazing!  

“It is God Who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.  He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights.”  Psalm 18:32-33

“I can do everything through Him Who gives me strength.”  Philippians 4:13

I Know...

Well, our house is officially off the market right now.  Our realtor and her broker said that it would be a good idea to take it off the market and then re-list it in a month or so again so it would be considered as a new listing on the housing market.  So here we sit after having the house on the market for just over two years.  A hard place to be.  Had the Lord not given me three scriptures years ago that assured me that He indeed is going to move us back to Arkansas, I would be in great despair.  This is a hard enough place to be in, but it would be disastrous had He not given me His promises about the move.  I still wonder when and how He will accomplish this, but I must and will stand on His Word to me about the move.  I would be without hope otherwise.

As I ponder all of these things I am reminded that the Lord is the only One Who works miracles, the only One Who brings about resurrection.  Just as the disciples told Jesus that there was no one else they could go to, so it is with me.  He alone is the Son of the Living God.  He alone was their hope.  Again... so it is with me today.  He is my only Hope.  Apart from Him this house will not sell in such a distressing time in the housing market and economy now.  Gosh, even in good economic times He alone would sell our house.  There is no one else to turn to but to Him.  So I sit here, pray and await His resurrection.  I truly don’t know anything else to do.  He alone will be our salvation.  Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.  

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, Who does not change like shifting shadows.”  James 1:17

“The One Who calls you is faithful and He will do it.”  1 Thessalonians 5:24

Limitations

I just celebrated my 63rd birthday a few days ago.  I don’t feel 63 but I am. My heart and mind are much younger than my years.  Except for my health limitations, I could still do anything I needed or wanted to.  However, I am unable to do some of those things now or I am limited in the things I can do safely (or without doing bodily harm to myself) .... now that my body is older than my heart and mind. So now what do I do?  Once again the Lord is going to have to show me the way.  I will still serve Him with all my heart and I will still go wherever He leads me.  So how will that look with my current (and future) limitations (health and otherwise)?  Well, I got my answer a little while ago...

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God and trust in Me.”  John 14:6

So there it is.... trust Him.  Of course that is the answer.  As always, I will simply follow wherever He leads me.  HE will make the way for me to do whatever He wants me to do.  All by His all-sufficient grace.  So simple.  One day (or moment) at a time, sweet Jesus.