Really, Lord???

“For My thoughts and not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

I could hardly believe it, Lord.... the resurgence of the symptoms of my bladder disease.  I had thought that You had completely healed my disease, however You had only put my symptoms into remission.  After 5 years of no symptoms, I assumed that I would never have to deal with all of this again.  Well, I was wrong.  Once again I am re-working my entire diet to accommodate this disease and also taking daily medication to help better control the symptoms that have re-appeared.  I have to tell You that You really blind-sided me with this, Lord.  Dealing with this again as well as the constant headache should be more than I can do except for You, dear Lord.....  By Your grace You will make it all possible.  I have no idea how but You will.  That’s just what You do for Your children and this is how You started doing that for me.

 “O LORD, You have searched me and You know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.  Where can I go fromYour Spirit?  Where can I flee from Your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.  If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.  For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.  How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.  When I awake, I am still with You.  Psalm 139:1-18

“Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9

This walk with You just gets more and more intense, Lord.  One day (moment) at a time, sweet Jesus... one step at a time.  

Hard Times

Yes, Lord, I know it has been a while since I wrote.  You know the hard times that I’ve been through.  Just too difficult to write.  Despair snuck in and I let it.  Whenever I take my eyes off of You and put them on my circumstances, discouragement and despair are right there hounding me.  Forgive me for allowing them to invade my walk with You.  I’m so grateful that You came to my rescue, assuring me and encouraging me back to Yourself.  In Your great love for me, You are bringing me back from the point of frustration and from the desire to give in to all that is going on in and around me.  In Your great love, You are holding me even closer and showering me with Your grace to go forth.  Again I am humbled beyond words and thankful for Your mercy toward me.  Thank You, my Abba Father.  You are so good to me.  

And so..... You and I continue our walk.  Lead on, O King Eternal.  

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  Matthew 6:25-34

You Did It Again

There they were, Lord.  When I least expected it, there they were.  I had been looking for them for many months, but I simply could not remember where I had put them.  No, I do not need them right now but will be needing them in the months to come.  I had surrendered it all to You and asked that You let me find them whenever You wanted me to have them.  Thank You for showing me once again that You perfectly provide all my needs according to Your riches in glory in Christ Jesus.  I am so thankful.  You are so merciful to me.  

In all of this You reminded me that You are always there for me and that You always know just what I need and when I need it.  You reminded me that You are my Perfect Provider and the God Who sees me wherever I am and whatever I need.  You always had the situation under control and in Your hands.  Yes, Lord, You did it again.  You constantly amaze me.  

“This is the Lord’s sign to you that the Lord will do what He has promised.”  Isaiah 38:7

“And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:19

Memory

Lord, long before we started this journey with my constant headache, I was prompted to pray for “protection of my mind”.  At the time I did not know why I was praying that prayer, but I did realize that it was an important prayer concerning my health.  Three and a half years later I am more thankful than ever to know that, in the midst of this headache, You are protecting my mind.  Otherwise I would surely have lost it by now.  Thank You for protecting my mind.  

Now..... my memory is getting worse and worse all the time, Lord.  It is much more than the “normal” memory problems of aging.  It is frightening, Lord.  I am forgetting that I have completed tasks.  I am forgetting what I do from one minute to the next.  I have even had one short “blackout” when all I remember is blackness when traveling from one spot to the other in the house.  Tripping and ramming into the corner of a wall brought me back to consciousness.  I understand that all these forgotten things will help show the doctor what is going on inside my brain, but it is all frightening and frustrating.  Thankfully You are protecting my mind.  If I had not prayed that prayer and received Your Word about Your protection of my mind, Lord, I would be scared to death.  As it is, I am still scared but with hope.  Grant me Your grace to walk this part of this journey with You.  I’m so thankful that I walk it with You.  You alone are my Hope.  May Your will be done in it all. 

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.  While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal”  2 Corinthians 4:17-18

“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One Who goes with you.  He will not leave you nor forsake you.”  Deuteronomy 31:6