My Resolution

The end of this year brings thanksgiving for all that God has been and done in my life.  He has blessed me in innumerable ways this year.  His Presence in my life has blossomed in ways I cannot describe nor always understand.  I have seen His love, mercy, faithfulness, grace and peace in places that seem impossible.  I have seen Him be Who He is and I am awed and amazed every time.  Thank You, Lord, for drawing me closer to Yourself in 2011.  

As I think about making New Years resolutions, I can only find one resolution that I will make for 2012... I resolve to continue following Him wherever He leads me.  I realize that this sounds very non-specific, but, if I will follow Him on His path for me in 2012, I will be and do everything that He wants me to be and do.  Of course that means that I may go to places where I don’t really want to go, but, by faith and His grace, I will thrive in those places and in Him through it all.  THAT’S the part of following Him that I love.  He shines through it all.  I want others to see Him, not me, in all that I am and do.  “He must increase, but I must decrease...” (John 3:30, KJV)  That is my overriding desire.  It’s all about Him.  

“Direct me in the path of Your commands, for there I find delight.”  Psalm 119:35

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”  Matthew 6:33

Waiting... still

“For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false.  Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.”  Habakkuk 2:3

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”  Psalm 27:14

“Therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.”  Micah 7:7

“The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeks Him.”  Lamentations 3:25

The Lord always knows just what I need to hear when I grow weary of waiting on Him.  Thank You, Lord.  You are so good to me.  It’s coming, Lord, it’s coming.  I need your grace to wait until it does.  Thank You for providing just what I need.  

In The Bleak Midwinter

It’s a rarely sung Christmas carol, but I love it.  It speaks of the birth and majesty of my Lord and gifts that are given to Him.  Though each verse speaks to my heart, the last verse is my favorite.  It is all about what I can give to the Lord in response to Who He is and all He has done in my life.  That verse melts my heart every time I sing or read it. 

In the bleak midwinter,
Frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter,
Long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him,
Nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away
When He comes to reign:
In the bleak midwinter
A stable place sufficed
The Lord God incarnate,
Jesus Christ.

Angels and archangels
May have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim
Thronged the air;
But His mother only,
In her maiden bliss,
Worshipped the beloved
With a kiss.

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd,
I would bring a lamb;
If I were a wise man,
I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give Him:
Give my heart.

As I find myself in my own “midwinter” time and journey, this carol reminds me that the Lord is indescribable, perfect and holy.  There is nothing I can give Him that He has not already given to me.  He has no need for a computer, an iPod, a special toy, clothing, cookies, a coupon for a meal out or a gift card.  He has no need of earthly things at all.

This year I asked the Lord to show me what He does want me to give Him as my Christmas gift to Him.  He graciously showed me what He wanted and I gladly did just that.  The joy in my heart as I did it was “full”.  I could not stop grinning with joy.  It was unlike anything I might feel when giving a gift to others, even though that gives me an excited heart and delight.  But, there is nothing like giving Him my whole heart.  Just as the little drummer boy (yes, I know he is not in the Biblical nativity story), I too desire to always give Him the only things I have... my heart, my mind, my soul and my strength, ALL of me.  I just want to be what He wants me to be and do what He wants me to do.  It is the very least I can do.  It is my heart’s desire.  I am Yours, my Lord, and will follow You all the days of my life... all by Your grace.  Merry Christmas, Lord.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”  Mark 12:30

Dust

Lately the Lord has been showing me many scriptures that deal with death.  I began to wonder if He was preparing me for what is yet to be as a result of this constant headache... my transition from living on earth to living eternally with Him in Heaven.  I had forgotten that He had already told me that I would not die but that He would be glorified in my living with the results of this headache.  I was really wondering what He has in store for me in my health, so I just told Him what I was wondering (as if He didn’t already know...) and laid my heart before Him.  He responded and this is what He said.

“He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.”  Psalm 103:14

“And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.”  Psalm 139:16

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:7

“When He heard this, Jesus said, ‘This sickness will not end in death.  No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.’”  John 11:4

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”  Genesis 50:20

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”  Hebrews 10:36

No, God did not have to tell me these things, but He knows I am dust (sooooo human) and gave me His peace that passes all understanding to face whatever He has for me in my health.  He will take care of me in it all.  Humbly I thank You, Lord, for coming to earth, dying on the cross, being resurrected to give life eternal and saving me.  Please keep my eyes on You.  I again surrender all to You.  May Your will be done in and through me.  It is my heart’s desire to follow wherever You lead me.  

Not The Last

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.  I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of the heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them.  They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God.’”  Revelation 21:1-3

Well, Thanksgiving is over.  Throughout this month I’ve heard and read so many declarations of thankfulness.  Although I read them with delight, I did not really feel led to join in their declarations.  I didn’t know why, but I didn’t, so I was content with reading and hearing those of others.  

As I reflect on why I did not join in on the listing of the blessings of others, I came to realize that, while the showers of God’s blessings to me during my time on earth are wonderful, the blessing that I seemed to be focusing on was not one that I would receive in the land of the living here on earth.  My greatest gift from the Lord is yet to come.... that of living with Him in Heaven forever and ever.  As His child I get to reside in His Holy Presence and I never have to leave it.  I will remain at the foot of His Throne always.  I will worship Him with all heart and praise Him always.  Oh, the joy of all these things! 

Although I know that “it’s not my turn” to enter the Presence for God forever yet, knowing that this gift will be mine one day gives me hope... hope that this world is not my ultimate destination.  I will one day take my last earthly breath and be ushered into the glorious Presence of my Lord.  Knowing that makes all the joys, trials, tribulations and temptations of this earth bearable.  Yes, the best is yet to come and I am thankful.  Praise the Lord from Whom all blessings flow.  

Who But God?

As I sit here feeling absolutely horrible physically and my sweet husband is in the other room feeling absolutely horrible physically as well, who but God could have brought me to the point of being thankful that we have not made our move to Arkansas yet?  Who but God could have delayed the selling of our home so that we would be better able to help care for my Daddy when we do get there?  Who but God could have given me such a grateful heart for His NOT doing what I so long for Him to do?  Yes, He will move us to Arkansas... He has promised me that in His Word... but it will not be done until it is HIS perfect timing and HIS perfect timing will come when He so desires.  At that point in time we will be able to fulfill those needs... for Daddy’s benefit and at a level that we can physically handle.  Who but God?????  Absolutely no one. 

As the song says... the longer I serve Him, the sweeter it is.  His love, mercy, goodness, kindness and faithfulness is showered upon me and mine and it humbles me again and again.  What a loving, personal, compassionate God I serve.  He knows just what is best for me and He knows when to bring it to pass.  Who else could do that?  Absolutely no one.  He amazes me... and I love Him more each day.  Thank You, Lord, for making me Your own.  Once again I’m speechless.

“‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways’, declares the Lord.  ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.’”  Isaiah 55:8-9 

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven”  Ecclesiastes 3:1

Satisfied

“I have learned to be satisfied with the things I have and with everything that happens.”  Philippians 4:11

Philippians 4:11 has been my prayer for a long time.  It is my desire to be content in all circumstances, but lately I’ve realized that I am not content in my health problems.  I want to feel better, but I feel considerably worse and my health seems to be getting worse all the time.  I find myself whining a lot to the Lord in my “misery”.  I just can’t stay this way and have cried out to the Lord for more of His grace so that I indeed can be satisfied in my health and all other circumstances in my life, especially the challenging ones.  I know He has a plan and I desperately want to follow that plan.  I simply cannot do it without His grace to carry me through it all.  I don’t want to do it all without His grace.  I CAN’T do any of it without Him and His all-sufficient grace.  Oh, Lord, help....

“I can do everything through Him Who gives me strength.”  Philippians 4:13

He is the One Who will carry me through.  He is the One Who will give me the strength and stamina to persevere.  He alone.  I will trust in Him.  I can’t do it any other way.  I will be crushed if I try.  Lord, be glorified in it all.  

Praying...

“but because Jesus lives forever, He has a permanent priesthood. Therefore He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for them.”  Hebrews 7:24-25

“Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray.”  James 5:13

Lately I’ve been thinking about praying.  So many prayers needed recently.  So many cries to our Lord on behalf of others and very difficult situations.  So many pleas for the deliverance and redemption of things that He alone can bring to pass.  I find myself prostrate before His throne of mercy and grace so that He is mightily glorified in all these circumstances that I bring before Him.  Such a humbling place to be.  I once again realize how powerless I am and how powerful God is.  When I think of the impossibility of effecting change in any of these lives and situations myself, I again realize how much I am “dust” and how merciful and loving the Lord is.  Praise God for His faithfulness to hear my prayers and answer them in His perfect way and timing.  Comprehending Him and His ways in hearing our hearts and acting mightily on our behalf is overwhelming to me.  

Then I remember that Jesus is always interceding for His children.  ALWAYS.  Forever and ever.  He never tires of going to His Father for our benefit.  It is amazingly and overwhelmingly humbling to think of Him and such a great love that can never change.  We can do nothing to “make” Him love us more or less.  Out of His unconditional perfect love He always intercedes for us so that we may, in the end, be made more like Him.  It makes me speechless when I think about it all.  

I am so very thankful that the Lord loves us in spite of who we are and what we do.  I am so very grateful that He never leaves nor forsakes His children.  And He prays for us.  Oh, how He prays for us.  Just one more of His most amazing gifts to those who have put their trust in Him as their personal Savior.  Thank You, Lord, from the bottom of my heart that loves you more each day.  I love You too, Lord.  

How Firm A Foundation

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”  2 Corinthians 12:9

“...Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”   Hebrews 13:5b

I especially love to hear Fernando Ortega sing this hymn.  He sings it in a heartfelt, worshipful manner.  I can almost hear him comforting me and others like me who simply need to be reminded of the powerful Presence of the Lord in the lives of His children.  This is a strengthening hymn to me as I recall the faithfulness of my Lord.  There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that can happen that can come between my Lord and me.  He is my firm Foundation and I will build my house upon the Rock.  

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

In every condition, in sickness, in health;
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth;
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, shall thy strength ever be.

Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

Even down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

May this hymn encourage the children of God and shower them with His peace and grace always.  

Be Still And Know

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.  The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”  Psalm 46:10-11

Another one of my favorite hymns... and especially appropriate for this time in my life. 

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

May I forever sit at His feet and wait for His perfect ways and timing.  It is so humbling to be His child.  Makes me speechless when I think about Him and His gift of salvation in my life.  I am in such awe of Him.  I love Him...  

Be Thou My Vision

“Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.”  

Psalm 105:4

“Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.”

This song means so much to me.  It is my plea to my Lord to keep my face turned toward Him and be all that He wants me to be so that He may be glorified in all that I am and do.  Each time that I hear it, I renew my vow to Him to serve Him always.  May it forever be so.  

The Next Step

Well, I finally heard back from my neurologist’s office.  The next step is going to UAB in Birmingham to consult with a vascular neurologist there.  I was told that my neurologist here thinks that botox injections will give me relief from my constant headache.  First will come a consultation with the new neurologist, then, if it is decided that they would help, a series of three botox injections over time.  Not crazy about this idea... but the Lord has told me otherwise.  He has spoken to me in His Word.

“The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him.”  Lamentations 3:24

“... I will never leave you or forsake you.”  Hebrews 13:5

“Shall I not drink the cup which my Father has given me?”  John 18:11

“For I have come down from Heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of Him Who sent me.”  John 6:38

“Whether it is favorable or unfavorable, we will obey the Lord our God, to Whom we are sending you, so that it will go well with us, for we will obey the Lord our God.”  Jeremiah 42:6

“My grace is sufficient for you.  When you are weak, My power is made perfect in you.”  2 Corinthians 12:9

“Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9

“Peace I leave you; My peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”  John 14:27

Am I scared?  At first I was extremely upset and frustrated about the lack of answers yet.  Now, after hearing from the Lord, I am more settled and I know He will see me through no matter what comes in all of this.  Yes, I’m surrendering it all to the Lord.  I don’t know what is to come, yet He has placed my feet on solid ground... on Him and His promises.  May His will be done.

Back On The Market

Well, we just put our house back on the market after a two month “rest” following over two years in the housing market.  Our realtor had said that it would be good to take it off the market and then re-enter the house as a new listing in hopes of our listing receiving more attention.  So, here we go again... always having to keep the house “showable” at any given time.  Maybe that will again help me keep a cleaner home.  That wears me out just thinking about it!  But do it, I will.  God will give me the strength to do what I need to do in this adventure.

As I think about this re-entry into the housing market (the devastated housing market), I declare once again my trust in the Lord to do what He has told me in His Word that He will do... that He alone can do... and that is to sell our home and move us to Arkansas to help care for my Daddy.  He told me years ago that He is going to do this, so I will hang on to His Word to me and trust Him in it all.  

The refrain of the hymn “Come Every Soul By Sin Oppressed” comes to mind.  “Only trust Him, only trust Him, only trust Him now.  He will save you, He will save you, He will save you now.”  That says so much.  Yes, I will trust Him and, yes, He will save us.  He will do just what He has said He will do.  He is faithful.  Thank You, Lord!

“Those who know Your Name will trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You.”  Psalm 9:10

“But I trust in You, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’”  Psalm 31:14

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God; trust also in Me.”  John 14:1

“And again I will put my trust in Him...”  Hebrews 2:13a   

Romans 8:28

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28

Everywhere I go, everywhere I look, everywhere I read... this scripture is placed in front of me.  I seldom am looking for it, but the Lord puts it in my path again and again and again.  I’d say He is teaching me something.  I’d say He is probably preparing me for something that is yet to come.  I want to be a good student in His “classroom” and I want to be prepared for whatever is to come into my life.  I’m so very thankful that He is reminding me once again that He truly works everything, EVERYTHING, together for good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose.  

I’d be less than candid if I did not say that I’m seriously wondering what it could be that He is preparing me so heavily for.  My thoughts go in so many directions and I could easily become overwhelmed.  My desire is to simply keep walking hand in hand by His side, keep staring into His face and follow wherever He takes me.  I choose to trust Him and rely on Him and His faithfulness.  Whatever may come I know that He will work it all together for good.  I also know that He will carry me under the shadow of His wing during it all.

Enjoy these other scriptures that speak the Truth of Romans 8:28...

“In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him Who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will.”  Ephesians 1:11

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”  Genesis 50:20

“Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered much anguish...”  Isaiah 38:17a

“Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel.”  Philippians 1:12

“Indeed this will turn out for my deliverance...”  Job 13:16

  By His grace.... only by His grace...

Wake Up!!!

I thought I had missed it.  I had asked to Lord to let me watch it if He wanted me to see it.  However, Sunday night came and went and I did not see it.  I assumed that the Lord had not wanted me to see it, but I still had a deep desire to see it.  Then last night the Lord opened the door for me to see it and used it mightily to do His work in my heart.  Amazing!

What am I talking about?  The 9/11 Wake-Up Call simulcast with Joel Rosenberg, Anne Graham Lotz and Selah.  It was truly indescribable.  Selah led the worship times, Joel Rosenberg spoke of the Biblical prophecies concerning the end times that are being fulfilled right before our eyes every day and Anne Graham Lotz spoke about what our response is to be in light of these prophetic signs.  Every word they spoke rang true and I was spellbound as I watched the delayed presentation of the simulcast.  It was so amazing that the Lord delayed my hearing it to a time when I could be completely alone and He could do His healing work in my heart.  No distractions... just Him, me and His messengers of His Truth.  I loved it.  

Anne Graham Lotz spoke about God’s gifts coming in “brown packages”, His gifts that come through difficult circumstances.  The real gift is inside the brown package but we don’t like the way the gift is packaged so we don’t realize the gift within the brown package.  A wonderful analogy about our trials and the gift in the midst of our trials.  I understood what she was talking about.  I’m living it now.  Inside my brown package is the gift of more of Him in my life, a deepening intimacy with Him.  Despite the hard times, I am learning more about Him and growing more and more in love with Him.  That’s my gift inside my brown bag.  Thank You, Lord, for my brown package.  

However, that was not the only thing she talked about.  Anne Graham Lotz spoke of repentance and that is where the Lord did most of His work in me.  As she spoke, many tears and cries to the Lord from the depths of my heart followed.  He loves me so much that He didn’t want anything to keep me from being intimately close to Him, so He brought me to my knees.  I needed repentance.  How humbling that was...  Thank You, Lord, for giving me just what I needed.

“Therefore this is what the LORD says: “If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me...”  Jeremiah 15:19

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”  Psalm 139:23-24

Reflections...

I’ve watched all the news reports today about the remembrances of the tenth anniversary of 9/11.  As I’ve seen them I have wept and my heart has grown heavy once again.  I have again thought of all those who died that day in NYC, at the Pentagon and in the field in Pennsylvania.  My first reaction to that infamous day in 2001 was shock but then the realization that there were over 3,000 souls that met their eternal destination that day.  While I grieved the horror of what had happened that day and the potential of future devastation, my heart was consumed with whether or not all those that died had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ before they died.  My heart ached to think that there were probably those who did not find themselves in Heaven with Jesus but eternally separated from the Lord after their death.  My grief was overwhelming and my prayer was that the Lord would draw people to Himself in the aftermath of the tragedy.  During the days after 9/11 my heartache remained deep within me until the Lord gave me His assurance that He is in absolute control.  My job was now the act of praying for those still apart from Christ... that He would use this tragedy to draw the unsaved to Him and His gift of salvation... that He would work this all together for good and that He would be glorified in it all.  

So today I find myself with that broken heart again for the unsaved.  Again I know that the Lord is sovereign and that He will again use this to draw people to Himself through His Son.  Again it is my job to pray for the unsaved and share the gospel with others by the power of His Holy Spirit.  I cannot save the lost, but He can and will and does.  That in itself is a comfort to me.  There is nothing that He cannot do.  He will bring good and be glorified in this once again.  Something that only HE can do.  

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” Matthew 19:26

The Woodcutter's Wisdom

One of my favorite excerpts from Max Lucado's many books..... 



The Woodcutter’s Wisdom


Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before—such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.


People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend?” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.


One morning he found that the horse was not in the stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever hope to protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been too high. Now the horse is gone, and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”


The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”


The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”


The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, an old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.


After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”


The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of a phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?


“Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is a fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”


“Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned with one horse. With a little bit of work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.


The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.


“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”


The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”


It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.


“You were right, old man,” they wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”


The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this: Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”


The old man was right. We only have a fragment. Life’s mishaps and horrors are only a page out of a grand book. We must be slow about drawing conclusions. We must reserve judgment on life’s storms until we know the whole story.


I don’t know where the woodcutter learned his patience. Perhaps from another woodcutter in Galilee. For it was the Carpenter who said it best:
“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” (Mt. 6:34)  He should know. He is the Author of our story. And he has already written the final chapter.


From In the Eye of the Storm
 
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 1997) Max Lucado

All...

Lately the Lord has been showing me an in-depth look at the word “all” in His Word and especially in Romans 8:28.  I’ve know this scripture for a long time, but these days He is giving me a deeper understanding of it.  

“And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28

Not some things, not many things, not most things but ALL things.  No matter what happens God is working good in the midst of it, whether or not the outward circumstances appear to be good.  Although things are looking bleak in many of the circumstances of my life these days, I am assured that God is working good things in and through them all.  Sometimes it is hard to see the good, sometimes it is easy to see the good, and sometimes it is impossible to see the good that God will bring in and from it all.  That’s when I must trust that He knows what He is doing and that He truly is working things all together for good and His greatest glory.  As the hymn says, I must “trust and obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey”.   And so, by His grace and in the assurance that He is working all things together for good, I step out in faith to follow wherever He leads me.  It is all I know to do.  He will make ALL things possible as I go forward with Him by my side and my face focused on His as we walk hand in hand into His future for me and mine.  He indeed will work it all together for good and His greatest glory.  

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God ALL things are possible.”  Matthew 19:26

“No, in ALL these things we are more than conquerors through Him Who loved us.”  Romans 8:37

“And my God will meet ALL your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:19

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

“Cast ALL your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”  1 Peter 5:7

“Come to Me, ALL you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  Matthew 11:28

“Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart and with ALL your soul and with ALL your mind and with ALL your strength.”  Mark 12:30

“Though Him ALL things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made.” 

John 1:3

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of ALL comfort, Who comforts us in ALL our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”  2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I’m learning more about what His ALL means and to simply take Him at His Word in all the difficult circumstances of my life and those around me.  As He tells me that He will never leave me nor forsake me, I can see His “ALL”  and know that He is working everything for good, because I love Him and am called according to His purpose.  

Lord, once again I surrender ALL to you and follow wherever You lead me.  

Next...

Well, here we go again... the next part of the journey with the Lord about my headache.  I had so hoped that the Lord would reveal the source (or tell my neurologist what test to run now) of my headache, but He did not.  Just another attempt to simply get rid of the pain with medication without any understanding of what is causing it.  I assume it is not time for Him to reveal the cause of my headache.  Unless I have misunderstood the Lord’s Word to me about my headache, He has told me that He will “declare what it is and present it”.  So again I wait on Him as He goes forth with the discovery process for the cause of my headache.  Lord, I need more of Your peace and grace to walk with You further on this journey.  The saga goes on.  

Today the Lord took me to eat lunch at the deli in the nearby hospital before my neurologist’s appointment.  Good food and a great time at their Book Fair.  After the Book Fair I went to the gift shop where the Lord showed me a man with a walking stick to help him keep balanced following a stroke.  It was so obvious to me that the Lord was again showing me that He and I are on this journey walking together.  Then He took me to the chapel in the hospital where I sat on the pew and drank in the stained glass window of Christ holding a lamb in his arms.  Such a loving picture of the Lord’s care for me as He is holding me in His arms throughout my lifetime journey with Him. I prayed and once again surrendered my headache and health to Him.  I surely do not want anything but His will, despite the fact that times are hard and I’m still hurting all the time.  Just as He has taken care of me these many years, He will continue to hold me in His arms as we walk through this part of our journey.  He will never leave me nor forsake me and will work all of this together for good because I love Him and am called according to His purpose.  How can I not follow Him wherever He leads me?  I am His forever and there is no other that I need to or want to go to in my life.  He is my Lord and King and I will follow wherever He leads me.  It’s as simple as that.  By His grace I will go forth with Him... wherever He takes me.  

“I will praise You, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of You among the nations; I will sing of You among the peoples.  For great is Your love, higher than the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.  Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let Your glory be over all the earth.”  Psalm 108:3-5

  

When I Misunderstand...

I hate it when I misunderstand what the Lord has told me, but that is exactly what has happened with the cause of my headache.  As I’ve spent time with the Lord today, I have realized that, although the arthritis in my neck is part of the problem with my headache, it alone is not the only reason for it.  Thankfully the Lord has revealed the arthritis in my neck and has provided the physical therapy to address it, to tone it down and give me the tools to keep it more or less “in check”.  Now I understand that there is still at least one other problem that is causing my headache.  Now I understand that the Lord will lead, guide and direct my neurologist to at least one other cause of my headache.  I have no idea what else the cause could be, so again it is a time for me to trust the Lord and wait on His revelation(s).  At this point in time my headache is as bad as it has always been.  Hmmm... help, Lord!  Have I mentioned how much I hate it when I misunderstand the Lord??? 

Once again I am in the place of waiting on and trusting the faithfulness of the Lord in regards to my health.  I’ve been here a lot, but I know that the rest of the world can say the same thing.  I know that He will show us what’s going on in my head.  It’s just hard to wait on a full true diagnosis.  One day in His perfect timing and way He will make it clear.  How I long for that day as I continue having headaches and praying for my health.  Thank You, Lord, for carrying me with Your strong, loving arms while I wait.  How like You.  

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23

“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”  Psalm 27:13-14

Sleep... Or The Lack Thereof

It’s 2:46am and I have yet to have gone to sleep.  Not only tonight but pretty much every night since I can’t remember when.  It seems that at least one of my medications is the cause of my current insomnia.  Hmmm... if I did not absolutely have to take these medications, I might get some sleep.  And yet... the Lord has used these sleepless nights to draw me closer to Himself.  How like Him!

Most nights I read and/or play games on my phone.  However, my favorite way to spend my nightly hours is to listen to my Christian music on my phone.  It brings me to my Savior’s feet and brings His Presence ever closer.  Yes, I’d love to get some sleep, but the Lord obviously gets the greatest glory in strengthening, helping and upholding me by His righteous right hand each day as I do those things that He puts before me to do.  It’s so easy to see Him doing that in my life as I accomplish His tasks for each day.  Although I am exhausted, He alone makes my days possible.  It’s a very humbling place to be and a very amazing place to be at the same time.  I certainly only want to be where He has me and know that He will take loving care of me in the midst of it all.  Once again all I can do is curl up in His arms and watch how He carries me through it all.  Amazing... simply amazing!  

“It is God Who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.  He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights.”  Psalm 18:32-33

“I can do everything through Him Who gives me strength.”  Philippians 4:13

I Know...

Well, our house is officially off the market right now.  Our realtor and her broker said that it would be a good idea to take it off the market and then re-list it in a month or so again so it would be considered as a new listing on the housing market.  So here we sit after having the house on the market for just over two years.  A hard place to be.  Had the Lord not given me three scriptures years ago that assured me that He indeed is going to move us back to Arkansas, I would be in great despair.  This is a hard enough place to be in, but it would be disastrous had He not given me His promises about the move.  I still wonder when and how He will accomplish this, but I must and will stand on His Word to me about the move.  I would be without hope otherwise.

As I ponder all of these things I am reminded that the Lord is the only One Who works miracles, the only One Who brings about resurrection.  Just as the disciples told Jesus that there was no one else they could go to, so it is with me.  He alone is the Son of the Living God.  He alone was their hope.  Again... so it is with me today.  He is my only Hope.  Apart from Him this house will not sell in such a distressing time in the housing market and economy now.  Gosh, even in good economic times He alone would sell our house.  There is no one else to turn to but to Him.  So I sit here, pray and await His resurrection.  I truly don’t know anything else to do.  He alone will be our salvation.  Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.  

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, Who does not change like shifting shadows.”  James 1:17

“The One Who calls you is faithful and He will do it.”  1 Thessalonians 5:24

Limitations

I just celebrated my 63rd birthday a few days ago.  I don’t feel 63 but I am. My heart and mind are much younger than my years.  Except for my health limitations, I could still do anything I needed or wanted to.  However, I am unable to do some of those things now or I am limited in the things I can do safely (or without doing bodily harm to myself) .... now that my body is older than my heart and mind. So now what do I do?  Once again the Lord is going to have to show me the way.  I will still serve Him with all my heart and I will still go wherever He leads me.  So how will that look with my current (and future) limitations (health and otherwise)?  Well, I got my answer a little while ago...

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God and trust in Me.”  John 14:6

So there it is.... trust Him.  Of course that is the answer.  As always, I will simply follow wherever He leads me.  HE will make the way for me to do whatever He wants me to do.  All by His all-sufficient grace.  So simple.  One day (or moment) at a time, sweet Jesus.   

The Healing And The Gift

Today I received two gifts from the Lord.... one a healing and one the gift He said He would give me in my health.  The healing was realized after I got the phone call from my neurologist’s office when they told me that I had a lot of arthritis in my neck.  Such a surprise to me!  The Lord had told me that the cause of my headache was in my brain, so what was the deal about the arthritis?  How could that be the cause of my headache when the Lord had told me the cause was in my brain, not my neck.  Well... the Lord explained that to me in His Word when He made it known that He had healed the problem in my brain and substituted the cause of my headache into my neck!!!!!  He actually moved the cause from one place to another in my body and that new condition and place is much easier to treat.  WHO BUT GOD COULD HAVE DONE THAT???????  Although the Lord has done this before in my health, I am always awed, amazed and humbled when He does it!!!  

Through the years the Lord has miraculously healed me of breast cancer, interstitial cystitis, gluten intolerance, lactose intolerance and now a very serious problem in my brain!!!!!  He absolutely receives ALL the glory for doing these things in my health!  I have asked Him many times why He does this in my body when so many others suffer excruciating pain and illnesses.  Why am I spared (at least so far) serious and devastating diseases and others are not?  The only reason I have ever received from Him is this...

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  (Jeremiah 29:11)

So far it is simply not His way to receive the greatest glory from my life.  Though it may be some day, for now it is not.  I am truly blessed in this and most unworthy.  He is so merciful in my health and I am speechless once again because of what He has done in my life.  To Him be all praise, honor and glory for His mercy in my life.  Like I said... I am humbled, ever so humbled, by His work in my life.  

Alive Again!

God has given me the most incredible gift (no, not the health gift that He will give me later) and I can hardly believe He has given me this privilege.  I am now involved with the ministry Alive Again! that is based here but serves the Lord internationally.  He has called me to be the prayer ministry co-ordinator of this Spirit-filled ministry.  This humbles me so.  I am so thankful to be used by the Lord in this way.  Thank You, Lord!  May I rely on You alone to do this.  Praise You!

For many years the Lord has given me a heart for women who suffer from the trauma or abortion and sexual abuse, so it is easy to see how He has connected me to Alive Again!  I’ve known Sherry, the ministry’s president, for many years and know her as a woman who is sold out to the Lord and desires only to serve Him whatever the Lord calls her to do.  I’m grateful to serve the Lord with her.  

Alive Again! takes women and men through the Bible study “A Journey To Grace” to bring them to the healing and redemption that the Lord desires for all His children.  It is an amazing journey.  As I begin as the prayer co-ordinator for this precious ministry, it is my desire to support, encourage and fortify Alive Again! through prayer in order that the Lord may be glorified even more through it.  May all be to His greatest glory.  

Lord, thank You for this gift...

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, Who does not change like shifting shadows.”  James 1:17

More...

Back from my latest neurologist’s appointment.  Cervical MRI scheduled for next week and prescribed sleep medication.  The real answer to my headache?  It would surprise me if it is, but the Lord is definitely leading and guiding us to the true diagnosis.  Just need to rule out all other possibilities.  I need the Lord’s merciful grace to endure and wait on His answer to all of this.  The true diagnosis is coming.  I just don’t think it is here yet.  God is in control and I will follow wherever He leads me.  I will praise Him in the storm.  He is still good, He still loves me with an everlasting love, and I will still love and serve Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.  Praise Him from Whom all blessings flow...

“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth.  These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”  Isaiah 42:16

P.S.  Got a great hair cut yesterday.  I love “good hair days”!  Thank You, Lord, for that blessing!

Beans...

Yes, beans.  I’d looked for them in three states before I found them this afternoon in our local Walmart.  I’d even “made my own” the other night.  You see... these beans were one of two main ingredients in our “famous” red beans and rice recipe.  My sweet husband showed me how to make this recipe shortly after we married and we’ve always loved that recipe.  So not being able to find any more of the canned beans was frustrating.  The last time I needed some, I had to have them special ordered.  However, last night I had only one more can of beans left.  I was resigned to “making my own” until, or IF, I could find some place that carried the infamous beans.  Such was my mindset until this afternoon at Walmart.

While going to the dentist and running errands this afternoon, I ended up at Walmart (not an unusual thing for me).  While doing my shopping, I was meandering down the aisle of vegetables.  And there they were... my canned beans... just sitting on the shelf like they’d been there for years.  I was thrilled!  I was amazed that they were there and thankful that I had finally found them again.  But more than being thankful for the beans, I could not help but thank the Lord for providing something so simple as cans of beans for me.  I was awe struck at His great love and provision for me.  I could have lived without that particular type of canned beans, but God provided them for me once again.  Standing there by the beans in Walmart I saw the Lord shine through and show His love once again.  I felt His Presence as He again showered me with something I wanted but did not really “need”.  Wow... God is the only One I know Who can show His love through providing a can of beans.  He humbles me any time He does this in my life or the life of those I know.  Thank You, Lord!

“He Who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all-- how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?”  Romans 8:32

Who would have ever thought that would include cans of New Orleans style red kidney beans?