Suffering

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

I’ve known for a while, Lord, that You use great suffering to bring forth great things and great glory.  The other day You brought me to a whole new depth of my understanding of the suffering that I am going through, especially in my health.  The crucifixion comes before the resurrection and You used my Savior’s suffering to bring the greatest gift of eternal salvation to those You created.  I have known this in the past, but You personalized this in my own suffering as I pondered the many scriptures that say this very thing.  I now see that suffering is a privilege from You.

“For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on Him, but also to suffer for Him,”  Philippians 1:29

“Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer…“  Revelation 2:10

“The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name.” Acts 5:41

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.”  Romans 5:3-5

“That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know Whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day.”  2 Timothy 1:12

“In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for Whom and through Whom everything exists, should make the Author of their salvation perfect through suffering.”  Hebrews 2:10

“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed.”  1 Peter 4:12-13

Thank You for letting me suffer for You, Lord.  It is humbling to know that You have given me such a gift as this.  I now see my suffering in a new light… the light of Your love, purpose and glory.  May my suffering bring You the greatest glory, not only in my life but in the lives of all who know about it.  Your will be done in it all.  Praise You from Whom all blessing flow.

Hands

“That night the Lord appeared to him and said, ‘I am the God of your father Abraham.  Do not be afraid, for I am with you…”  Genesis 26:24

A significant drop in the use of my hands today, Lord.  Resorting to using a rubber grip on my pen and a writing  style that is a combination of cursive and printing.  Having to take it slowly so it can be read.  Shakiness in hands increasing and in my entire body.  Thank You, Lord, for making sure that I can do everything You want me to do and that You receive all the glory for all that I do.  You continue to amaze me as I more clearly understand Your Word that says “… Apart from Me you can do nothing.”  (John 15:5)  Not only can I not do anything eternal without You….. I can do nothing earthly without You.  So very thankful that You are with me, leading and guiding my every step and never leaving nor forsaking me.  So, instead of complaining and whining about these decreased abilities, I will praise You in the storm and give thanks for Your faithfulness and Your love.  Praise You from Whom all blessings flow.  

“I can do everything through Him Who gives me strength.”  Philippians 4:13

Home Alone

“…The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the Name of the Lord be praised.”  Job 1:21

Mike on his way to see our older daughter.  My health keeping me at home.  You have the perfect plan, Lord.  Work things out just as You want.  Thank You for using all of this for Your greatest glory.  Praise You from Whom all blessings flow.  

What A Delight!

“And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:19

Thank You, Lord!  A wonderful evening with others from my new church.  Last night we were finally able to attend the disciple group here.  A real delight to spend time with fellow believers.  This is definitely where you want us to be.  Great food, fun, fellowship and Bible study… all in one night.  AND a special baby shower for our pastor, his sweet wife and two daughters as they expect a third baby girl in mid-June.  Pink was everywhere!  Eager to get to know everyone better as we enjoy time together and study Your Word.  

I have missed being in such fellowship with my fellow Christians, Lord.  Thank You for providing once again just what I need.  You always do.  Great is Your faithfulness… 

It's Time Again

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:…… a time to embrace”  Ecclesiastes 3:1,5

Well, it’s time again to return to journaling my walk with You, Lord.  It’s time again to begin sharing again the ups and down of it all with You on Earth.  It’s time again to share the glory You receive as You carry me through the good, the bad and the ugly, knowing that You use it all for good and for Your glory.  So here we go again.  May it all be to Your greatest glory.

Central sensitization= every nerve in my body being damaged and unable to filter the stimuli that come to me.  Now we know what is going on in my body but not the source of it.  After seeing two primary care doctors, eight neurologists, two rheumatologists and one ENT doctor we have the understanding of my affliction but not its source, what is causing it.  One step forward and another brick wall in front of us.  Now we continue to search for its cause.  Thank You, Lord, for giving Your understanding of what is going on and the  peace and grace to persevere until we know the source or come to a place of acceptance without the name of the source.  Either way You will uphold me and make my affliction possible to endure.  Where would I be without You?  Thank You, Lord, that I never have to find that out.  

The days and nights grow more difficult and my symptoms increase in number and grow more painful.  Sometimes I feel like giving up, Lord, but You pick me up and keep me traveling on Your path for me.  Sometimes I think it would be better for me to be with You in Heaven now, but You show me that You have a greater purpose in mind for my life and that it is important for me to fulfill that purpose.  Sometimes I take my eyes off of You, Lord, but You answer my prayer to keep my eyes on You, not on my circumstances.  Sometimes… but You.

So here we go again… keepin’ on keepin’ on with You by my side holding me up as we go forward.  Lead, guide, strengthen and uphold me as only You can.  Thank You, Lord.  Thank You.  All praise, honor and glory to You.