Amazing Love

“If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:11)

Yesterday my Abba Father gave me a gift too wonderful for words.  He told me why.  Oh, I know that He does not have to ever tell me why He does things in my life in the ways that He does them, but this time He did.  Until yesterday I have just walked by faith concerning those things, knowing that what He did was perfect and in His eternal purpose for me.  All I knew at that time was to follow in obedience wherever He led me.  However, in those many years of following in radical obedience to Him and seeing Him act in miraculous and mighty ways (thus increasing my faith), my heart ached and the walk was excruciatingly hard.  Like Paul I would have died had it not been for the mercy and daily deliverance from the Lord.  Despite an overwhelming fear during those days of losing all that I loved here on Earth, the Lord protected me and those around me and not one thing was lost.  Needless to say, though, I carried scars with me from these years of radical obedience to the Lord that I loved and still love with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.  I wondered “Why?”.  Why did it take such radical obedience to follow Him during those particular years?  I had no answers but walked forward with Him anyway.... until yesterday.  

As I was listening to a testimony on the radio yesterday afternoon, I suddenly became acutely aware that the Lord was speaking to me through this woman’s testimony.  I began to weep as the Lord whispered into my heart about my past.  I was overwhelmed by what He told me.  I cried more.  I felt confused by what He was telling me and continued praying about and thinking about it all.  Last night He put it all together and it all made sense to me.  In His amazing love, mercy and grace He completed a deliverance from all my wounds and scars left by that extremely difficult period following Him in such radical obedience.  I understand now.  As hard as those years were, I now know the answer to my question of so many years of “Why, Lord?”.   Who but He Who is Perfect Love could have done that for me?  

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”  Psalm 147:3

“I will be glad and rejoice in Your love, for You saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.”  Psalm 31:7