Duke Plans

Thank You, Lord, for the appointment at Duke University Med Center on Tuesday, October 9th.  I wonder what You will show them and where You will take me from there.  I know You will lead the way for me.  You always do.  

I have to admit, Lord, that it overwhelms me to think of having a lumbar puncture, a CT myelogram and another blood patch at Duke.  You alone will get me through the pain and give me the grace to accept whatever You show them.  What would I do without You?   I’m so thankful that I won’t ever have to find out.  

As I read the posts on the CSF Leaks Facebook page, I hear many heartbreaking stories from those who suffer with this and more.  Please grant me Your grace to keep my eyes on YOU alone instead of becoming fearful as I read their posts.  YOU are my Hope, not man.  It is You Who will show man what You want done and You will be the One Who determines which path my health will take.  My trust is in You and I will follow wherever You lead me.  Praise You, my Abba Father, Sovereign Lord, King of kings and Lord of lords!  You are worthy of all praise, honor and glory.  

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the Name of the Lord our God.”  Psalm 20:7

What A Week!!!

Boy, Lord, this week You have shown me just how much You sustained me while I was in the hospital in Michigan!  I wonder if I’ve ever been so exhausted in all my life as I have been this week.  My brain and body has functioned only because You made it possible.  My mind and thoughts have come only because of You.  Every time I have had to walk, grocery shop or anything else YOU have provided my every need.  You have been my Strength “in neon” ever since we got home.  Thank You for continuing to be my Strength at all times and thank You that You have given my body and mind some rest as well.  Yes, Lord, I still depend on You to provide my every need and, yes, I still have little energy or presence of mind, but I know that I am better than I was when I first came home.  For that You receive all the praise, honor and glory.  One day at a time, Sweet Jesus, is the only way I know to live anymore, Lord.  Thank You again for never leaving me nor forsaking me.  I rest in Your arms each moment of every day just so I can make it to the next step of our journey on this path.  Praise You from Whom all blessings flow!

The more I read and find out about spinal fluid leaks, Lord, the more ominous this journey sounds.  Please give me the grace to keep my eyes on You and not on the human circumstances.  There is no doubt that You alone will show me the way and make that way possible wherever You lead me.  Right now, if I think about it too much, the way sounds filled with much pain and treatments for the rest of my life.  If that is the case, Lord, You will carry me in Your loving arms and make the way possible.  I, believe it or not, am eager to find out what You have in mind for me.  I just know that it will mightily glorify You and that Your love will shine through it all, drawing others to YOU.  That’s exactly what I want... 

“Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O little Israel, for I Myself will help you,’ declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.”  Isaiah 41:14

In Michigan With The Lord

How do I describe all You did in Michigan, Lord?  Please give me Your words, for only Your words can tell of the mighty works that You brought to pass while we were there.  It is truly indescribable.

**You made the impossible trip there possible by providing peace, grace, strength, and stamina...

**I finally felt “heard” when I spoke with the nurse and doctor for THREE hours about every aspect of my headache...

**Your timing was perfect for the day of my entrance into Chelsea Community Hospital and You provided just what I needed in my care, procedures, relationships with doctors and other staff members as You poked and probed into my body to lead and guide them to Your conclusions about my headache and health.  You gave me peace, grace and strength to endure the pain, the painful procedures and their aftermath.  You provided every step of the journey while I was in the hospital. You most assuredly provided Your all-sufficient grace to stay in the hospital for all 15 days......  

**You gave me caring and knowledgeable doctors and other staff members who knew just what You were showing them and made it clear, not only to them, but to me (at a later point) what steps needed to be taken in my health to bring me relief AND the grace to endure the medicine side effects.....  

**You showed the doctors very clearly their limitations to complete Your diagnosis of the cause of my headache (low spinal fluid pressure levels and leaks of spinal fluid) and had them refer me to a neuro-radiologist at Duke University as soon as an appointment there can be set up.  At Duke You will show them the multiple tiny leaks of spinal fluid and then You will “plug” those leaks, which should relieve my headache from that source.....

**Then You gave me hope that, should this not be the whole source of my headache that You have for me, You have kept the door open with the clinic in Ann Arbor so that I can return, if needed, so they can investigate further into some other symptoms that could still be causing my headache.....

Every step of this headache journey is bathed in You, Lord... in Your love, provision, mercy, grace, peace and strength.  No end in sight yet, but You have never forsaken (and won’t ever) me no matter what I face.  I have felt enveloped in Your peace, grace and arms every moment.  Praise, honor and glory to You, my Abba Father, the One Who loves me like no other and cares for me within Your everlasting arms...

Soon You will show us the next part of this journey.  A trip to Duke University looms in our near future and no one but You know what You have for me and my family there.  I am certain that Your loving care for me will shine through there as well.  This headache journey is far from over, but, without a doubt, You will be there carrying me and my family all the way.  Again, may Your will be done and may You be mostly highly glorified in every way.  Let Your love shine through me to others so that they will be drawn to You in every way.  I surrender it all to You again and can’t wait to see what You accomplish in this next portion of the path You have for me.  

“The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.”  Psalm 126:3