I Need Thee...

“The Lord protects the simple-hearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.”  Psalm 116:6

Great need... that seems to be my life theme for some time now.  I’m living more and more in complete dependence on the Lord.  That’s a good thing and I’m glad about that.  Living in such a place can be extremely challenging though.  I feel like I’m sitting in a school desk before the Lord and He is teaching me and molding me more into His likeness.  Like I’ve said before... that’s a good place to be, just hard sometimes.  I again am tempted to take my eyes off of my Lord and put them on my circumstances (they are screaming for attention!).  I just can’t afford to do that... I just can’t.  How would I ever survive in such a way?  I simply can’t and don’t want to live with my eyes on earthly things.  Sooooo... by HIS grace I will keep my eyes upon Him.  I have to... otherwise I would be consumed by my own desires and the ways of the world and I couldn’t stand that.  I love the Lord so much and desire His will above mine at all times.  There is such joy in living in the light of His Presence and I don’t want to miss a moment of being with Him.  Thank You so much, my Lord, for making that possible and for being my Emmanuel, God with me all the time.  Praise You, Lord!

Home Again...

We got home yesterday.  I wish that I had the words to describe our trip.  I am still in awe of the ways that the Lord covered our trip with His mercy, power and grace.  I don’t know that I’ve ever experienced Him in such a powerful way.  He has taught me so much more about what Philippians 4:13 and Matthew 19:26 means. 

“I can do everything through Him(Christ) Who gives me strength”.  

“... With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

While on this trip, despite my multiple health problems, I was enabled to travel, enjoy our time with others, and help my Daddy.  I did things that I could never have done except by the help and grace of my Lord. Yes, He made it all possible by giving me His strength and abilities.  On my own I could never have taken this trip and, surely, I could never have done all that I did while gone.  It was truly a supernatural trip, something only He could have accomplished.  I am once again completely humbled by it all.  Words to explain it all escape me.  There are no words to described all that He did.    All that I can say is this... on the trip I was able to do everything that was needed, but, now that I am home, I can do none of those things.  Oh yes, it was a supernatural trip.  Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

It's Time...

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’”

It’s time for God to do the impossible.  I’m about to venture out with the Lord on an escapade that only the Lord can carry me through.  I’m about to see that the Lord can enable me to do things in spite of my health, things that only HE can do.  It will be an amazing time and one in which the Lord will show me more of Himself and His greatest glory.  May I keep my eyes on Him alone and come to know Him better in this time with Him.  What a gift this time will be.  Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.   

The Next Step

A true diagnosis from the neurologist yesterday?  I don’t think so.  I believe the Lord has shown me in His Word that this new diagnosis of “new daily persistent headache” is not the true diagnosis for my headache, dizziness, etc.  In my spirit this new diagnosis just doesn’t “feel” right.  I truly believe that there is something else going on inside my brain.  However, for now, the Lord is letting me take two new medications to show the dr. that his diagnosis is not correct.  Guess I’ll find out more in five weeks when I return to the neurologist.  God is working.  I’m so curious to find out what He is doing.  He will indeed guide us into all Truth about this problem in my brain. God is in control.  By His grace I will follow Him and persevere by His side and keep my eyes on Him.  It is the only way I will make it through. Thank You, Lord, for Your love, wisdom, discernment and faithfulness to carry me through.  Praise Him from Whom all blessings flow.

“The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; He will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the Lord...”  (Isaiah 51:3)

Long Week...

Time seems to be creeping by as I wait until Friday to see the neurologist again.  Once again I am eager to find out my test results and find out if the Lord will name His Gift to me.  Also praying fervently for peace and grace to receive His Gift.  By His grace I will wait.  It’s what I must do but I cannot do it apart from Him and His all-sufficient grace.  He is hiding me under the shadow of His wing while I wait.  He is a merciful, gracious and compassionate God and Abba Father.  This is His Word to me this morning.....

“So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the trouble of your body...”  (Ecclesiastes 11:10)

Do this in my life, Lord.  My humanity wants to worry, but, in You, I can have peace.  May it be so, Abba Father.  I love and trust You in all things. 

Beginning...

New neurologist... tests to be run... see the neurologist in ten days... a true diagnosis?... the next step to take.  That’s where I am in the process of God revealing His gift to me.  A beginning... it feels wonderful to be at the beginning instead of still waiting for the beginning to begin.  Yes, I know that sounds strange, but there is great relief in knowing that the Lord is working to reveal the Truth about my headaches.  He is so faithful and I am confident that He will show us what is going on inside my brain.  He will “declare what it is” and “present it” just as He has told me that He will do in His Word.  He is so good to me and I am so grateful.  All praise, honor and glory unto You, Mighty God!!!  

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23

As I Wait

“We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our Help and our Shield.  (Psalm 33:20)

I am amazed at all the Lord has done and shown me while I wait to find out what His gift to me is.  Despite the pain I have discovered once again that with the Lord the impossible is possible.  I have done so many things (including waiting on Him to disclose the gift He has for me) that I never dreamed I could do at this time.  Surely He has been glorified in it all... just as I want Him to be.  Thank You, Lord, for Your perfect provision in all things, especially at this time in my life.  You are so good to me!

My desire to know what His gift is continues to grow.  Right now I have no idea what it is.  Part of me is eager to know and the other part of me is frightened to know.  I have asked for His grace to receive this gift.  He will provide all that I need whenever I need it.  He is faithful.  

So, for now, I continue to wait.... all by His amazing grace.

“Be still, and know that I am God...”  (Psalm 46:10a)